Does failure scare you?

Does the thought of looking stupid make you cringe?

You’re not alone. You’ve probably even let your fear of failure hold you back from some amazing things in your life. But what about your fear of success? How is your fear of achieving your big dreams stopping you in your tracks?

Fear of success??? Who in their right mind would be afraid of succeeding?

Actually, a lot of people, myself included, and probably you if you’re being truly honest with yourself.

Our fears hold us back and keep us from living the lives we so desperately want to live. Our fears keep us small and feeling safe. And I think our fear of success, left unexplored, holds us back more than we know. I spent some time journaling about my own achievement-related fears and here is some of what I uncovered…

I’m afraid of losing friends.

My friendships are some of my most valued relationships and losing them terrifies me. What if my success causes resentment? What if we grow apart? I think every one of my close friends would tell me this is 100% nonsense, but nonetheless, it is deep fear for me.

I’m afraid I will have to move to another city or state.

What if my business outgrows our small town and we need to move to a place with more resources? This one is an extension of my fear of losing valued relationships. You see, making new friends is not one of my strengths. I’m fairly introverted and we don’t participate in the traditional activities where adults get to meet and build new relationships (ie. church, sports, clubs). Also, I’ve lived near my family my whole life and being away from them scares me. Upsetting them by moving away scares me even more.

I am afraid it will cause stress on my marriage.

I’m not afraid that my husband won’t be supportive. He’s my biggest cheerleader and believes in me more than anyone should. What gives me pause is the thought of becoming so engrossed in my work that I neglect my marriage. Can we survive all the headaches and obstacles that success throws our way? I like to think so, but I’d be lying if I said this didn’t scare me.

I fear the loss of privacy.

Putting my voice out into this world means I don’t get to stay anonymous. It means I have to give up being small. There is an incredible sense of security that comes with staying out of the spotlight.

I’m scared of the added stress and feeling overwhelmed.

I am prone to some very bad habits when I’m stressed. It has taken a lot of work to overcome them and I am scared they’re secretly just waiting under the surface to show up again. What if the work is too much and I end up feeling stressed and overwhelmed. What if this causes me to lash out at loved ones? Will I go back to unhealthy vices like eating loads of junk food or drinking too much wine to decompress in the evenings?

I’m scared of how much time I’ll miss with with my kids.

Mom-guilt talking here. But more than just the mom-guilt, I really enjoy spending time with those little nuggets. They’re 10 and 7 now, and as any parent will tell you, those years flew by. The next 10 years will go by even faster, and what if I’m so busy building my business that I miss it? I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

Uncovering these truths about myself was just the start, now the real work begins. Once you recognize your fears you need to explore them in more detail. For example, knowing I’m afraid that my success will cause stress on our marriage means I need to open up to my husband about it. We can talk about what success might look like and some of the obstacles we might face. We can set boundaries ahead of time to help protect our marriage. Maybe those boundaries include how often I travel for work, or the types of projects I work on, to avoid unnecessary overwhelm.

That’s the beauty of this exercise, it sheds light on your fear. Fear thrives in the uncertainty of the shadows. Fear dies in the light.

I encourage you to explore your own fears around success. What are your big dreams and what scares you most about achieving them?